just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
