it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
