Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
