What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
