At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize