that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
