i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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