ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
