It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
