The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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