it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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