I just made out with a guy for $7.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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