Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
