girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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