I wanna bring you to show and tell
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
