there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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