You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
