Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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