i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
