We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
