if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
