are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
