Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
