normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
