I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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