there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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