I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
