Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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