So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
