Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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