She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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