i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize