you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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