Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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