we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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