You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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