you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Randomize
