why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
