we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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