I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
