Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.

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(716): View more from New York

since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

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(940): View more from Texas

never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

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(812): View more from Indiana

No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages

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(757): View more from Virginia

It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes

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(804): View more from Virginia

woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.

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