so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
