he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
