I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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