Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
