2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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