I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
