chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize