her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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