can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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