we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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