If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
