Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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