Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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