Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
