Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
