Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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