By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
