The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
