I wish my penis had an off switch
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can't talk, ducks in the car
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
