we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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