if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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