Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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