Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize