the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
