dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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