His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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