Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Two words: blizzard sex
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
