what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
