OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize