Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize