I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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