dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
