So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
